New Year's Resolutions

According to the Barna Group, “Nearly two-thirds of the nation’s population (61%) has made New Year’s resolutions at some point in their lives. … Yet, only one out of every five (19%) is “definitely” planning to make resolutions, which may be a reflection of either the half-hearted effort many put forth or a recognition of their past failure to follow through on such goals. When asked to describe their experience with resolutions during 2010, only one out of four Americans (23%) who had made resolutions found those commitments resulted in “significant, long-term change” to their behaviors or attitudes. More commonly, Americans described their 2010 resolutions as resulting in “minor change” (29%) or “no change” (49%).”

Many of us have made New Year’s Resolutions in the past and have failed to keep them for more than a few weeks. Yet, some people do make significant changes. What’s the secret? Change theory might have some answers for us.

Kurt Lewin described change as a three stage process. Stage 1, he likened to unfreezing an ice cube. Stage 2 is the change in behavior and Stage 3 is a refreezing of the water into a different shape.

Stage 1, unfreezing, requires a dissatisfaction with the current situation. I think many New Year’s Resolutions fail because people are not really dissatisfied with the way things are. They would like to make a change, but are not yet fed up with the current situation. They want some miracle elixir that will make their problems go away. That’s why so much money is spent annually on unused exercise equipment and gym memberships. If people could buy the solution, then there would be no difficulty in making changes. Unfortunately, real change takes real work and to be successful that means being fed up with the way things are.

Stage 2 is the change. This always requires planning. Change does not just happen. There’s an expression, “Failure to plan is planning to fail.” If your resolution is to start exercising, then plan when you can successfully exercise regularly. If the resolution is to eat better meals, then develop a plan for doing that. Contemplate the pitfalls to your plan. Why have you failed in the past? Plan to succeed this year.

Stage 3 is making it hard to go backwards. The example I use in my classes is, if you want to lose weight then throw away your “fat” clothes as soon as you can get into a smaller size. You might have to trick yourself for other resolutions by not allowing yourself to watch TV until you have exercised, for example. Make it hard to mess up. Get rid of the bad foods in the house and don’t walk down the snack aisle if your resolution is to eat better foods.

Other research on change tells us that small realistic resolutions are better than hard-to-reach ones. If you have not been exercising regularly, a resolution to exercise 5 times per week is unrealistic. Focusing on your behaviors (which you can control) is better than focusing on the outcomes (which are harder to control). For people trying to lose weight, I suggest not focusing on losing weight but on correcting lifestyle choices. Scales can be upsetting. Instead of focusing on some number of pounds to lose each week, focus on making correct food choices and exercise. Focus on fixing your bad behaviors not on the outcomes of those behaviors. Another example is someone who wants to improve a relationship. It is impossible to unilaterally improve a relationship. You can do your part and pray about the outcome.

In the words of Yoda, “Do or do not ... there is no try.” Don’t bother making a resolution to try to do better. Pick one situation in your life that you are tired of coping with and be determined to change it.

For more from the Barna Group: http://www.barna.org/culture-articles/465-americans-resolutions-for-2011