According to the Barna Group, “Nearly two-thirds of the nation’s population (61%) has made New Year’s resolutions at some point in their lives. … Yet, only one out of every five (19%) is “definitely” planning to make resolutions, which may be a reflection of either the half-hearted effort many put forth or a recognition of their past failure to follow through on such goals. When asked to describe their experience with resolutions during 2010, only one out of four Americans (23%) who had made resolutions found those commitments resulted in “significant, long-term change” to their behaviors or attitudes. More commonly, Americans described their 2010 resolutions as resulting in “minor change” (29%) or “no change” (49%).”
Many of us have made New Year’s Resolutions in the past and have failed to keep them for more than a few weeks. Yet, some people do make significant changes. What’s the secret? Change theory might have some answers for us.
Kurt Lewin described change as a three stage process. Stage 1, he likened to unfreezing an ice cube. Stage 2 is the change in behavior and Stage 3 is a refreezing of the water into a different shape.
Stage 1, unfreezing, requires a dissatisfaction with the current situation. I think many New Year’s Resolutions fail because people are not really dissatisfied with the way things are. They would like to make a change, but are not yet fed up with the current situation. They want some miracle elixir that will make their problems go away. That’s why so much money is spent annually on unused exercise equipment and gym memberships. If people could buy the solution, then there would be no difficulty in making changes. Unfortunately, real change takes real work and to be successful that means being fed up with the way things are.
Stage 2 is the change. This always requires planning. Change does not just happen. There’s an expression, “Failure to plan is planning to fail.” If your resolution is to start exercising, then plan when you can successfully exercise regularly. If the resolution is to eat better meals, then develop a plan for doing that. Contemplate the pitfalls to your plan. Why have you failed in the past? Plan to succeed this year.
Stage 3 is making it hard to go backwards. The example I use in my classes is, if you want to lose weight then throw away your “fat” clothes as soon as you can get into a smaller size. You might have to trick yourself for other resolutions by not allowing yourself to watch TV until you have exercised, for example. Make it hard to mess up. Get rid of the bad foods in the house and don’t walk down the snack aisle if your resolution is to eat better foods.
Other research on change tells us that small realistic resolutions are better than hard-to-reach ones. If you have not been exercising regularly, a resolution to exercise 5 times per week is unrealistic. Focusing on your behaviors (which you can control) is better than focusing on the outcomes (which are harder to control). For people trying to lose weight, I suggest not focusing on losing weight but on correcting lifestyle choices. Scales can be upsetting. Instead of focusing on some number of pounds to lose each week, focus on making correct food choices and exercise. Focus on fixing your bad behaviors not on the outcomes of those behaviors. Another example is someone who wants to improve a relationship. It is impossible to unilaterally improve a relationship. You can do your part and pray about the outcome.
In the words of Yoda, “Do or do not ... there is no try.” Don’t bother making a resolution to try to do better. Pick one situation in your life that you are tired of coping with and be determined to change it.
For more from the Barna Group: http://www.barna.org/culture-articles/465-americans-resolutions-for-2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Lessons from cutting Down the Annual Christmas Tree
My daughter, Kerri, and I had a tradition of cutting down the annual Christmas tree. As I fondly thought about it, I decided that the annual trek to the Christmas Tree farm had lessons that we could all learn from.
1. Don’t settle for the first good-looking tree. Kerri was always eager to get the tree selection done quickly in order to get home and start the decorating, not realizing that the secret to a great Christmas tree begins with the selection. A well-decorated Charlie Brown tree is still a Charlie Brown tree. Short-cutting the selection process gets people in trouble their whole life. Selecting the first guy that shows a girl a little attention is a sure-fire way to end in divorce court. A management text calls it “satisficing” – selecting the first solution that meets the minimum criteria instead of going for the best. Take your time and wait for the best.
2. A big tree in the outdoors is a gargantuan tree in your living room. I was guilty of this more times than I’d like to admit. The tree needs to be selected in reference to the size of the room it is going in – not the room in which it currently sits. Reference is everything. Compared to Bill Gates, I’m a pauper. Compared to most of the people in the world, I’m Bill Gates. Never lose perspective.
3. It is cold, windy (sometimes raining) and generally miserable cutting down your own tree, but it is worth it. Christmas tree cutting is a wintertime activity and winter in Indiana can be miserable. Rarely has it been a nice day when we cut down a tree. But when the time came for the next tree cutting, I forgot the miserable weather we endured last year, eager again to beat the elements in the quest for the ideal Christmas tree. Anything and everything in life worth having is a struggle to achieve. The easy-to-obtain things in life and the mundane are easily forgotten.
4. The simple things in life are usually the most memorable. This seems contradictory to the last lesson, doesn’t it? Not really. Simple and easy are different. When you think about the act of going to a Christmas tree farm and cutting down a tree, it is a pretty simple task and yet for us it brings back the best of memories. This is different than standing in line for hours for the “must have gift”. It’s not complicated, nor hard to plan. It is just the simple act of spending time with a child and creating a Christmas tradition that lives on in our memories.
5. Don’t forget the saw. Failing to plan is planning to fail. Simple does not mean it requires no forethought. A few minutes of planning saves the long trip back to get the saw.
6. Natural trees aren’t perfect and perfect trees aren’t real. Natural trees smell good and look good, but they do not look perfect. If you want perfection you want artificial. That’s the way it is with people. The prefect people you see on the screen aren’t real and the real people in your life aren’t perfect.
1. Don’t settle for the first good-looking tree. Kerri was always eager to get the tree selection done quickly in order to get home and start the decorating, not realizing that the secret to a great Christmas tree begins with the selection. A well-decorated Charlie Brown tree is still a Charlie Brown tree. Short-cutting the selection process gets people in trouble their whole life. Selecting the first guy that shows a girl a little attention is a sure-fire way to end in divorce court. A management text calls it “satisficing” – selecting the first solution that meets the minimum criteria instead of going for the best. Take your time and wait for the best.
2. A big tree in the outdoors is a gargantuan tree in your living room. I was guilty of this more times than I’d like to admit. The tree needs to be selected in reference to the size of the room it is going in – not the room in which it currently sits. Reference is everything. Compared to Bill Gates, I’m a pauper. Compared to most of the people in the world, I’m Bill Gates. Never lose perspective.
3. It is cold, windy (sometimes raining) and generally miserable cutting down your own tree, but it is worth it. Christmas tree cutting is a wintertime activity and winter in Indiana can be miserable. Rarely has it been a nice day when we cut down a tree. But when the time came for the next tree cutting, I forgot the miserable weather we endured last year, eager again to beat the elements in the quest for the ideal Christmas tree. Anything and everything in life worth having is a struggle to achieve. The easy-to-obtain things in life and the mundane are easily forgotten.
4. The simple things in life are usually the most memorable. This seems contradictory to the last lesson, doesn’t it? Not really. Simple and easy are different. When you think about the act of going to a Christmas tree farm and cutting down a tree, it is a pretty simple task and yet for us it brings back the best of memories. This is different than standing in line for hours for the “must have gift”. It’s not complicated, nor hard to plan. It is just the simple act of spending time with a child and creating a Christmas tradition that lives on in our memories.
5. Don’t forget the saw. Failing to plan is planning to fail. Simple does not mean it requires no forethought. A few minutes of planning saves the long trip back to get the saw.
6. Natural trees aren’t perfect and perfect trees aren’t real. Natural trees smell good and look good, but they do not look perfect. If you want perfection you want artificial. That’s the way it is with people. The prefect people you see on the screen aren’t real and the real people in your life aren’t perfect.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Heaven
“This must be what heaven feels like.” I surprised myself when that statement came out of my mouth. I had been taking prednisone to treat some poison ivy I had gotten into. Prednisone is a powerful anti-inflammatory drug, that took away all of my aches and pains. I had been sitting for a long time working on the sofa with my laptop. When I got up, I suddenly realized that I did not hurt anywhere. That’s when I said, without any thought, “This must be what heaven feels like.”
We don’t talk much about heaven any more in church. Growing up in Pentecostal churches, we talked a lot about heaven. We sang songs such as When We All Get to Heaven and I’ll Fly Away. We regularly heard sermons on heaven. During Sunday night testimony time the saints regularly talked about wanting to see Jesus and what they wanted to do when they got to heaven. In hindsight, maybe we were, as some saints used to say, “so heavenly minded we were no earthly good.”
But there were many reasons why we focused more on heaven back then. Life was not as pleasant for Christians then as it now. We were often ridiculed for our faith in school and at work. People who did not drink alcohol were “weird”. People in my church didn’t have much money. The world was in the midst of the Cold War. We were reminded once or twice every school year during our air raid drills just how unsafe the world was. Nikita Khrushchev’s promise to bury the U.S. and the USSR’s build up of missiles in Cuba were constant reminders that nuclear war was a very real threat. Maybe we dealt with all of the anxiety of our lives by focusing on life hereafter.
But, then maybe we have swung too far the other way. Do we as Christian long to see Jesus? Have we become too comfortable here in this life, that we are no longer pilgrims in a strange land? Do we see this life as an end to itself or as a tryout for the life hereafter?
These thoughts of mine regarding heaven were reinforced recently when I heard Carrie Underwood’s song, Temporary Home. The words in the chorus are:
This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this was my temporary home
This is our temporary home
See the video at: http://myplay.com/videos/carrie-underwood/temporary-home?locale=US
I think I need to spend more time thinking about the temporal nature of this life. James 4:13-14 says, “ Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
We don’t talk much about heaven any more in church. Growing up in Pentecostal churches, we talked a lot about heaven. We sang songs such as When We All Get to Heaven and I’ll Fly Away. We regularly heard sermons on heaven. During Sunday night testimony time the saints regularly talked about wanting to see Jesus and what they wanted to do when they got to heaven. In hindsight, maybe we were, as some saints used to say, “so heavenly minded we were no earthly good.”
But there were many reasons why we focused more on heaven back then. Life was not as pleasant for Christians then as it now. We were often ridiculed for our faith in school and at work. People who did not drink alcohol were “weird”. People in my church didn’t have much money. The world was in the midst of the Cold War. We were reminded once or twice every school year during our air raid drills just how unsafe the world was. Nikita Khrushchev’s promise to bury the U.S. and the USSR’s build up of missiles in Cuba were constant reminders that nuclear war was a very real threat. Maybe we dealt with all of the anxiety of our lives by focusing on life hereafter.
But, then maybe we have swung too far the other way. Do we as Christian long to see Jesus? Have we become too comfortable here in this life, that we are no longer pilgrims in a strange land? Do we see this life as an end to itself or as a tryout for the life hereafter?
These thoughts of mine regarding heaven were reinforced recently when I heard Carrie Underwood’s song, Temporary Home. The words in the chorus are:
This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this was my temporary home
This is our temporary home
See the video at: http://myplay.com/videos/carrie-underwood/temporary-home?locale=US
I think I need to spend more time thinking about the temporal nature of this life. James 4:13-14 says, “ Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Butterfly Effect
According to Answers.com, “In 1961, Edward Lorenz was using a numerical computer model to rerun a weather prediction, when, as a shortcut on a number in the sequence, he entered the decimal .506 instead of entering the full .506127. The result was a completely different weather scenario. Lorenz published his findings in a 1963 paper for the New York Academy of Sciences noting that "One meteorologist remarked that if the theory were correct, one flap of a seagull's wings could change the course of weather forever." Later speeches and papers by Lorenz used the more poetic butterfly. According to Lorenz, upon failing to provide a title for a talk he was to present at the 139th meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in 1972, Philip Merilees concocted Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas? as a title” (http://www.answers.com/topic/butterfly-effect-2).
The Butterfly Effect postulates that an insignificant event on one side of the world can produce significant change in the outcome of events on the other side of the world. Can this be possible?
What about the bit players in the Bible? We study the great men and women, but what about the supporting cast? What about those who played seemingly insignificant roles?
The apostle Andrew is recorded in John with bringing his brother Peter to Christ. Peter became a great leader in the early church. A boy gave his lunch away that led to over 5,000 being fed when Christ blessed it.
Prior to teaching full-time for Indiana Wesleyan University, I was a faculty recruiter. Since IWU wants to hire faculty that can support its Christ-centered mission, I would ask prospective faculty to tell me about their walk with Christ. Roughly half of those who could articulate a personal relationship with Christ said that they were raised in church all of their lives and one day accepted Christ as Savior. The other half would tell me about a journey they experienced with different people in their lives pointing them toward Jesus until one day they came face to face with their need of a Savior and accepted Christ.
I loved listening to these stories. One in particular went like this. This young man (let’s call him George) and his wife met another couple who were much like themselves. George and his wife were invited to attend a Sunday School class social event. There they met other couples like themselves and really enjoyed the evening. When George and his wife were invited to attend the Sunday School class, they accepted and then they attended church as well on a regular basis. A short time later, George and his wife moved away and quit going to church. Years later, George was handed a New Testament by a Gideon. George tossed the book in his book bag and forgot about it. Several weeks later George was called to visit his dad’s bedside who was dying in another state. George was leaving to return home and began thinking about his dad dying and his mother and sister fending for themselves. It saddened him to think that he and his dad had not resolved the issues between them. George started rummaging through his book bag and found the New Testament. He flipped through it and eventually started reading 1Corinthians 13, the love chapter. The Word spoke to him. He saw the answers to many of life’s problems. When his plane landed he excitedly told his wife that he had figured out the answer to his problems. The answer he said was love. His wife who had not shared in this epiphany replied, “No kidding”.
George did not know that his wife had been attending a Bible study at a neighbor’s house. God had been speaking to his wife, but she wasn’t ready to discuss what God had been doing in her life. Over the next several weeks, the masks came off and George and his wife realized that God had been speaking to each of them and it was time to get back to church and make a commitment to God.
I share all of this, the butterfly effect and George’s story to encourage each of us to make that effort to point someone to Christ. Each little nudge makes an impact. We never know the impact of our actions.
Mathew 10:41-42, “Anyone who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and anyone who receives a righteous man because he is a righteous man will receive a righteous man's reward. And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward."
1 Corinthians 3:7-9 “Neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.
The Butterfly Effect postulates that an insignificant event on one side of the world can produce significant change in the outcome of events on the other side of the world. Can this be possible?
What about the bit players in the Bible? We study the great men and women, but what about the supporting cast? What about those who played seemingly insignificant roles?
The apostle Andrew is recorded in John with bringing his brother Peter to Christ. Peter became a great leader in the early church. A boy gave his lunch away that led to over 5,000 being fed when Christ blessed it.
Prior to teaching full-time for Indiana Wesleyan University, I was a faculty recruiter. Since IWU wants to hire faculty that can support its Christ-centered mission, I would ask prospective faculty to tell me about their walk with Christ. Roughly half of those who could articulate a personal relationship with Christ said that they were raised in church all of their lives and one day accepted Christ as Savior. The other half would tell me about a journey they experienced with different people in their lives pointing them toward Jesus until one day they came face to face with their need of a Savior and accepted Christ.
I loved listening to these stories. One in particular went like this. This young man (let’s call him George) and his wife met another couple who were much like themselves. George and his wife were invited to attend a Sunday School class social event. There they met other couples like themselves and really enjoyed the evening. When George and his wife were invited to attend the Sunday School class, they accepted and then they attended church as well on a regular basis. A short time later, George and his wife moved away and quit going to church. Years later, George was handed a New Testament by a Gideon. George tossed the book in his book bag and forgot about it. Several weeks later George was called to visit his dad’s bedside who was dying in another state. George was leaving to return home and began thinking about his dad dying and his mother and sister fending for themselves. It saddened him to think that he and his dad had not resolved the issues between them. George started rummaging through his book bag and found the New Testament. He flipped through it and eventually started reading 1Corinthians 13, the love chapter. The Word spoke to him. He saw the answers to many of life’s problems. When his plane landed he excitedly told his wife that he had figured out the answer to his problems. The answer he said was love. His wife who had not shared in this epiphany replied, “No kidding”.
George did not know that his wife had been attending a Bible study at a neighbor’s house. God had been speaking to his wife, but she wasn’t ready to discuss what God had been doing in her life. Over the next several weeks, the masks came off and George and his wife realized that God had been speaking to each of them and it was time to get back to church and make a commitment to God.
I share all of this, the butterfly effect and George’s story to encourage each of us to make that effort to point someone to Christ. Each little nudge makes an impact. We never know the impact of our actions.
Mathew 10:41-42, “Anyone who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and anyone who receives a righteous man because he is a righteous man will receive a righteous man's reward. And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward."
1 Corinthians 3:7-9 “Neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Patience
Proverbs 14: 29 A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.
Proverbs 19: 11 A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
I have an application on my Blackberry that downloads a daily scripture reading. Several days ago, I read these verses. When I read them, I had to stop and think. My first reaction was that my father had never read these verses. I laughed about that for awhile (He was a very impatient man).
But then, I had to think about me. How do these apply to me? I like to think I have a great deal of wisdom and understanding. I like to think that I am not foolish. The question, of course, is do I display patience? Sometimes, I do. Unfortunately, sometimes I do not.
When I am driving and I see someone tailgating me on a two lane road, I have started pulling over when I can to let them get to where they want to go in such a hurry. That, to me, is a sign of understanding. I’m displaying patience. I will let someone in line ahead of me in traffic sometimes. I’ll laugh to myself at the people who cut in front of me in a line, sometimes, patiently and quietly waiting.
But, most people who know me would probably say that is not the whole story. Sometimes I am that person doing the tailgating. Sometimes I am rude to people who are not ready to pay the cashier after waiting in line forever. Sometimes I am impatient.
Why does Solomon equate patience with wisdom and understanding? Why doesn’t he blame it on bad genes? Why doesn’t he say it’s just the way a person is and they can’t help it? I guess Solomon observed that impatience is a problem with a lack of wisdom and or understanding.
If I understand that sometimes I’m the one who forgets to have my payment handy when I’m checking out, then maybe I’ll be a little more patient when I see someone else do it. If I understand that the old man who is poking along in front of me will be me someday, than maybe I can muster up some patience. If I understand that with all my rushing around impatiently I may be missing an opportunity for God to speak to me, then maybe I can slow down and patiently accept what God wants to teach me today. If I understand that it was only the Good Samaritan that took the time to minister to the man in need, I might patiently look around to see where God would want me to minister today.
How about the part that says, “It is to his glory to overlook an offense.” That’s what God did for me. He could have demanded that I pay for my sins with my blood. How many times have I offended Him?
Ouch. This hurts and I don’t like it one bit.
Lord, help me to patiently live today. Help me to understand that nothing will happen to me today that you are not aware of. Help me to understand that you may have some work for me today that requires to me to patiently wait in a line or patiently stop to minister. Help me to remember that You have overlooked my offenses, and I should be happy to over look the offenses of others. Help me to patiently wait on You for guidance today.
Proverbs 19: 11 A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
I have an application on my Blackberry that downloads a daily scripture reading. Several days ago, I read these verses. When I read them, I had to stop and think. My first reaction was that my father had never read these verses. I laughed about that for awhile (He was a very impatient man).
But then, I had to think about me. How do these apply to me? I like to think I have a great deal of wisdom and understanding. I like to think that I am not foolish. The question, of course, is do I display patience? Sometimes, I do. Unfortunately, sometimes I do not.
When I am driving and I see someone tailgating me on a two lane road, I have started pulling over when I can to let them get to where they want to go in such a hurry. That, to me, is a sign of understanding. I’m displaying patience. I will let someone in line ahead of me in traffic sometimes. I’ll laugh to myself at the people who cut in front of me in a line, sometimes, patiently and quietly waiting.
But, most people who know me would probably say that is not the whole story. Sometimes I am that person doing the tailgating. Sometimes I am rude to people who are not ready to pay the cashier after waiting in line forever. Sometimes I am impatient.
Why does Solomon equate patience with wisdom and understanding? Why doesn’t he blame it on bad genes? Why doesn’t he say it’s just the way a person is and they can’t help it? I guess Solomon observed that impatience is a problem with a lack of wisdom and or understanding.
If I understand that sometimes I’m the one who forgets to have my payment handy when I’m checking out, then maybe I’ll be a little more patient when I see someone else do it. If I understand that the old man who is poking along in front of me will be me someday, than maybe I can muster up some patience. If I understand that with all my rushing around impatiently I may be missing an opportunity for God to speak to me, then maybe I can slow down and patiently accept what God wants to teach me today. If I understand that it was only the Good Samaritan that took the time to minister to the man in need, I might patiently look around to see where God would want me to minister today.
How about the part that says, “It is to his glory to overlook an offense.” That’s what God did for me. He could have demanded that I pay for my sins with my blood. How many times have I offended Him?
Ouch. This hurts and I don’t like it one bit.
Lord, help me to patiently live today. Help me to understand that nothing will happen to me today that you are not aware of. Help me to understand that you may have some work for me today that requires to me to patiently wait in a line or patiently stop to minister. Help me to remember that You have overlooked my offenses, and I should be happy to over look the offenses of others. Help me to patiently wait on You for guidance today.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Scarcity Mentality
Your hardworking neighbor comes home with a brand new luxury SUV. One of your in-laws gets a big promotion with a big fat raise to go with it. What’s your reaction to the success of others? Are you happy for your neighbor? Are you happy for your in-laws? Or are you just a little bit jealous? Do you find yourself resenting other people’s success? You might be suffering from Scarcity Mentality.
Imagine as a child, you and a sibling are staring at the last piece of pie. There are only four ways for this scenario to play out. You could get the last piece (You win). Your sibling could get the last piece (You lose). Neither of you could get the last piece (Dad wins, kids lose). You could share the last piece (Compromise). This fighting over the last piece of pie is representative of the Scarcity Mentality. According to Stephen Covey this is a zero sum game. In this worldview, everything in life is limited. In this system, the more one person gets, the less someone else gets. It is the belief that socialism and communism are founded on. This belief affects our ability to be happy for others, even people we love.
There is another way to view the world, especially in a free, capitalistic society (which of course is fading fast in the U.S.). Stephen Covey calls this the Abundance Mentality. This is a belief that there is plenty for everyone. Consider the pie scenario from before. If there was another pie in the refrigerator, then there would be no dispute. We all win and we are all happy.
How does this Scarcity Mentality play out? If I am jealous of my neighbor’s success it might be because I think that I deserve that success. That’s Scarcity Mentality. Did my neighbor’s success prevent me from being successful? Of course not. If my in-law gets a big promotion why shouldn’t I be happy? That promotion did not come at my expense. If my neighbor wins, I don’t lose. Instead it should be a sign that the system still works. Those who work hard are being rewarded. Should anyone really care how much money Bill Gates makes? He didn’t make it stealing from me or you. He earned it by producing great (well, usually great) products. He won and there are plenty of others winning. His winning does not cause me to lose.
In an extreme case of Scarcity Mentality, I will view everyone’s success as hurtful to me. I can’t be happy when someone I love has lost weight and I haven’t. I fail to complement someone on a new hairstyle or a new look, because I am so unhappy with the way I look.
What does God have to say about this? Paul told us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited” (Romans 12: 15-16).
If I can’t rejoice in the success of others, if I can’t be happy for others, that speaks volumes about me. Pride, jealousy or maybe just a wrong relationship with the Father is preventing me from the joy that could be mine. Is God limited? Certainly not! Malachi 3: 10-11: “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty.”
Father, today help me to focus on my blessings and not my wants. I am most happy when serving You and not when I am acquiring material goods. Bless my neighbors and bless my family and friends as you see fit. My hope and my trust are in You.
Imagine as a child, you and a sibling are staring at the last piece of pie. There are only four ways for this scenario to play out. You could get the last piece (You win). Your sibling could get the last piece (You lose). Neither of you could get the last piece (Dad wins, kids lose). You could share the last piece (Compromise). This fighting over the last piece of pie is representative of the Scarcity Mentality. According to Stephen Covey this is a zero sum game. In this worldview, everything in life is limited. In this system, the more one person gets, the less someone else gets. It is the belief that socialism and communism are founded on. This belief affects our ability to be happy for others, even people we love.
There is another way to view the world, especially in a free, capitalistic society (which of course is fading fast in the U.S.). Stephen Covey calls this the Abundance Mentality. This is a belief that there is plenty for everyone. Consider the pie scenario from before. If there was another pie in the refrigerator, then there would be no dispute. We all win and we are all happy.
How does this Scarcity Mentality play out? If I am jealous of my neighbor’s success it might be because I think that I deserve that success. That’s Scarcity Mentality. Did my neighbor’s success prevent me from being successful? Of course not. If my in-law gets a big promotion why shouldn’t I be happy? That promotion did not come at my expense. If my neighbor wins, I don’t lose. Instead it should be a sign that the system still works. Those who work hard are being rewarded. Should anyone really care how much money Bill Gates makes? He didn’t make it stealing from me or you. He earned it by producing great (well, usually great) products. He won and there are plenty of others winning. His winning does not cause me to lose.
In an extreme case of Scarcity Mentality, I will view everyone’s success as hurtful to me. I can’t be happy when someone I love has lost weight and I haven’t. I fail to complement someone on a new hairstyle or a new look, because I am so unhappy with the way I look.
What does God have to say about this? Paul told us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited” (Romans 12: 15-16).
If I can’t rejoice in the success of others, if I can’t be happy for others, that speaks volumes about me. Pride, jealousy or maybe just a wrong relationship with the Father is preventing me from the joy that could be mine. Is God limited? Certainly not! Malachi 3: 10-11: “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty.”
Father, today help me to focus on my blessings and not my wants. I am most happy when serving You and not when I am acquiring material goods. Bless my neighbors and bless my family and friends as you see fit. My hope and my trust are in You.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Undercover CEO
One of the new TV shows that I enjoy watching is Undercover CEO. Each episode follows the CEO of a company while he or she takes a week out of the corporate office to work the lowest level jobs within the company in disguise. The supervisors and co-workers are told that a TV crew is following an older worker who has lost his/her job and is starting over at the bottom of the company in an entry level job.
In each episode, the CEO finds that there are some really hard-working people doing these difficult, low-paying jobs. Each CEO has been impressed with most of the people employed by the company. In some cases, the CEO has encountered management people who have not properly portrayed the type of management philosophy the CEO wants displayed.
At the end of every episode the CEO has the employees come to the corporate office where the CEO’s true identity is revealed. To the good, hard working employees, the CEO gives them something to show his gratitude for their hard work. The supervisors that have not been good representatives of the company have been chastised by the CEO and in at least one case, a supervisor was told to change or leave the company.
As a student of management, I like watching the show. Most of the CEOs are terrible at manual labor. I appreciate CEOs who are willing to leave the corporate office to see what really goes on their companies. Southwest Airlines’ former CEO Herb Kelleher did not need a TV show to encourage him to get out and mingle with the employees. He was renowned for showing up at an airport to throw bags with the baggage handlers or work at the ticket counter. While there, he not only understood the work the employees were doing but also engaged them in conversation. Sam Walton routinely drove his pickup truck to Walmart stores to see first-hand what was going in the stores. Harley Davidson requires its executives to go to motorcycle rallies to spend the weekend with HD customers, talking to them about their bikes.
The only way to know what is going on is get out of the office and go see how the work gets done. The Japanese term is “gemba”, which means the real place. Japanese managers are known for spending a great deal of time on the production floor. They want to see what is going on in their businesses.
Jesus came down from His “office” to see what living in this world was really like. He took the lowest level job in the universe, that of servant. He then took the job that no one else could do. He became the sacrifice for sin – not His sins, but our sins. We should have to die for our sins, but He became the sinless sacrifice for our sins.
As we enter this Easter season, carefully consider the sacrifice that Christ made to set you free of sin and to make you a candidate for heaven.
In each episode, the CEO finds that there are some really hard-working people doing these difficult, low-paying jobs. Each CEO has been impressed with most of the people employed by the company. In some cases, the CEO has encountered management people who have not properly portrayed the type of management philosophy the CEO wants displayed.
At the end of every episode the CEO has the employees come to the corporate office where the CEO’s true identity is revealed. To the good, hard working employees, the CEO gives them something to show his gratitude for their hard work. The supervisors that have not been good representatives of the company have been chastised by the CEO and in at least one case, a supervisor was told to change or leave the company.
As a student of management, I like watching the show. Most of the CEOs are terrible at manual labor. I appreciate CEOs who are willing to leave the corporate office to see what really goes on their companies. Southwest Airlines’ former CEO Herb Kelleher did not need a TV show to encourage him to get out and mingle with the employees. He was renowned for showing up at an airport to throw bags with the baggage handlers or work at the ticket counter. While there, he not only understood the work the employees were doing but also engaged them in conversation. Sam Walton routinely drove his pickup truck to Walmart stores to see first-hand what was going in the stores. Harley Davidson requires its executives to go to motorcycle rallies to spend the weekend with HD customers, talking to them about their bikes.
The only way to know what is going on is get out of the office and go see how the work gets done. The Japanese term is “gemba”, which means the real place. Japanese managers are known for spending a great deal of time on the production floor. They want to see what is going on in their businesses.
Jesus came down from His “office” to see what living in this world was really like. He took the lowest level job in the universe, that of servant. He then took the job that no one else could do. He became the sacrifice for sin – not His sins, but our sins. We should have to die for our sins, but He became the sinless sacrifice for our sins.
As we enter this Easter season, carefully consider the sacrifice that Christ made to set you free of sin and to make you a candidate for heaven.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Short-term vs. Long-term Thinking
I just finished my work out routine. I feel great. I’m tired and a little sore, but I feel great. An hour ago I did not feel so well. I was tired. I was sore. I did not want to work out. I had plenty of reasons for not wanting to work out today. I had already worked out plenty of times this week. I just didn’t feel like working out. I didn’t have a lot of time to work out before I had to get ready and go out. How many reasons does a person need for not wanting to work out? But, I did go work out and now I feel better than I did before. I knew I needed to work out but I nearly let my feelings overcome what I knew to be the right thing to do.
Many things in life are like that. I have arthritis. One of the doctor-recommended ways to reduce the pain and stiffness of arthritis is to exercise. But, exercise hurts. What’s the sense in that? And yet, every time I exercise, the arthritis hurts less.
Feelings get us into trouble, many times. We know what is right, but we don’t feel like doing what is right. I don’t feel like exercising, so I don’t. Then I feel less like exercising the next time so I don’t. Eventually I never feel like it so I never exercise again.
Why should we exercise? Why should we eat right? Why shouldn’t we give in to what feels good at the time? We know the answer. Because, long-term it is best for us.
Mathew 16:24-26 says, Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”
Take up a cross? Deny myself? Why should I do that? Lose my life, why? Because long-term (and short-term) it’s best.
People that take a “long-term thinking” approach to life are the ones who are best able to overcome their feelings and make the correct choices in life. If I think short-term, I stay on the couch and don’t exercise. If I think long-term, I realize that a little pain now pays off. Long-term thinking means I save money today so that I have a retirement fund and a rainy day fund in the future. Short-term thinking allows me to spend every dime I have on my wants now. People, who take a long-term view of life, prepare themselves by going to college or learning a trade or just learning new skills. Short-term thinkers don’t worry about tomorrow.
Really long term thinkers, consider where they will spend eternity and prepare themselves now to meet God one day. Short-term thinkers don’t want to think that far ahead.
What are you thinking about? Are you thinking long-term or short-term?
Many things in life are like that. I have arthritis. One of the doctor-recommended ways to reduce the pain and stiffness of arthritis is to exercise. But, exercise hurts. What’s the sense in that? And yet, every time I exercise, the arthritis hurts less.
Feelings get us into trouble, many times. We know what is right, but we don’t feel like doing what is right. I don’t feel like exercising, so I don’t. Then I feel less like exercising the next time so I don’t. Eventually I never feel like it so I never exercise again.
Why should we exercise? Why should we eat right? Why shouldn’t we give in to what feels good at the time? We know the answer. Because, long-term it is best for us.
Mathew 16:24-26 says, Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”
Take up a cross? Deny myself? Why should I do that? Lose my life, why? Because long-term (and short-term) it’s best.
People that take a “long-term thinking” approach to life are the ones who are best able to overcome their feelings and make the correct choices in life. If I think short-term, I stay on the couch and don’t exercise. If I think long-term, I realize that a little pain now pays off. Long-term thinking means I save money today so that I have a retirement fund and a rainy day fund in the future. Short-term thinking allows me to spend every dime I have on my wants now. People, who take a long-term view of life, prepare themselves by going to college or learning a trade or just learning new skills. Short-term thinkers don’t worry about tomorrow.
Really long term thinkers, consider where they will spend eternity and prepare themselves now to meet God one day. Short-term thinkers don’t want to think that far ahead.
What are you thinking about? Are you thinking long-term or short-term?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
It's not fair!
A friend recently sent me one of those emails that we all get describing one of those really unfair, unpublicized human interest stories. The email described the life of Irena Sandler, a German, who smuggled children out of Poland during World War II. She is credited with saving thousands of children from death. She was imprisoned and tortured by the Nazis for her humanitarian efforts. She was considered for a Nobel Peace Prize in 2007, but instead the award went to Al Gore for his slide show presentation regarding the hoax known as man-made global warming. The unfairness of this situation is highlighted by the recent revelations that people who have benefited from the so-called science of global warming manipulated the data.
I am writing this while the snow is falling during one of the coldest winters we have had in recent memory. The forecast is calling for an additional 15-20 inches of snow in D.C. on top of the 20-30 inches of snow they already received last week. Snow was reported in 49 of the 50 states this week. People who did wrong have benefited from their lies and distortions regarding man-made global warming while good people such as Irena go unnoticed. How unfair!
But who said life is fair? I know my Mom didn’t when I complained of being treated unfairly. I bet your Mom didn’t promise you that life would be fair. How did we develop the expectation that life should be fair?
Some are born smart, some are born attractive, some throw a football and some seemingly have little in the way of talent or ability. Life is not fair.
Throughout the Bible we see that God evaluates people by a different standard. Luke 21:1-4 tells of the widow who gave all that she had in the offering. Jesus recognized this and pointed her out as putting in more than all of the others who gave that day. Matthew 6:1-4 tells us to make certain that we do our good deeds in secret – not seeking attention. Those who do so will receive their reward from God.
Paul writes in Colossians 3:23-25 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism with God.
Don’t be discouraged because you are working hard, but are unnoticed. Seek God’s approval of your life. Look for eternal rewards.
Snopes on Irena Sandler
http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/sendler.asp
Links regarding climategate:
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2009/11/24/john-lott-climate-change-emails-copenhagen/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1250872/Climategate-U-turn-Astonishment-scientist-centre-global-warming-email-row-admits-data-organised.html
I am writing this while the snow is falling during one of the coldest winters we have had in recent memory. The forecast is calling for an additional 15-20 inches of snow in D.C. on top of the 20-30 inches of snow they already received last week. Snow was reported in 49 of the 50 states this week. People who did wrong have benefited from their lies and distortions regarding man-made global warming while good people such as Irena go unnoticed. How unfair!
But who said life is fair? I know my Mom didn’t when I complained of being treated unfairly. I bet your Mom didn’t promise you that life would be fair. How did we develop the expectation that life should be fair?
Some are born smart, some are born attractive, some throw a football and some seemingly have little in the way of talent or ability. Life is not fair.
Throughout the Bible we see that God evaluates people by a different standard. Luke 21:1-4 tells of the widow who gave all that she had in the offering. Jesus recognized this and pointed her out as putting in more than all of the others who gave that day. Matthew 6:1-4 tells us to make certain that we do our good deeds in secret – not seeking attention. Those who do so will receive their reward from God.
Paul writes in Colossians 3:23-25 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism with God.
Don’t be discouraged because you are working hard, but are unnoticed. Seek God’s approval of your life. Look for eternal rewards.
Snopes on Irena Sandler
http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/sendler.asp
Links regarding climategate:
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2009/11/24/john-lott-climate-change-emails-copenhagen/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1250872/Climategate-U-turn-Astonishment-scientist-centre-global-warming-email-row-admits-data-organised.html
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Applause
My wife, Joan, and I recently spent a wonderful week on a cruise ship. Most evenings we attended the evening entertainment. Several times one of the entertainers or the cruise director encouraged the audience to give our generous applause to the entertainers, if we enjoyed what they were doing. Several entertainers said something like, “The more you applaud the harder we work.”
My first thought was, the entertainers are getting paid to do their best. Why should I have to applaud to get them to work harder? Then, I thought some more about it. What a lesson in life! Don’t we all appreciate some applause once in a while? Wouldn’t we all work (or try) a bit harder if people were applauding our efforts?
The leadership and motivation literature is totally supportive of the value of encouragement. Transformational leadership researchers Kouzes and Posner in their book Encouraging the Heart wrote that when asked the question, “When you get encouragement, does it help you perform at a higher level?” 98 % of respondents said yes (p.4).
Sports fans understand the concept of encouragement. Fans generally believe that they can influence the outcome of a game. That’s why they yell and scream the way they do. The odds makers for NFL betting regularly give 3.5 points to the home team because of the impact of the homefield advantage. Much of the advantage is due to the home crowd cheering for their team.
The Bible speaks of encouragement. Proverbs 25:11 says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” There are no more fitting words than those of encouragement. Look for someone to applaud. Catch someone doing something well and reward them with a thoughtful word of appreciation. Encourage someone today.
My first thought was, the entertainers are getting paid to do their best. Why should I have to applaud to get them to work harder? Then, I thought some more about it. What a lesson in life! Don’t we all appreciate some applause once in a while? Wouldn’t we all work (or try) a bit harder if people were applauding our efforts?
The leadership and motivation literature is totally supportive of the value of encouragement. Transformational leadership researchers Kouzes and Posner in their book Encouraging the Heart wrote that when asked the question, “When you get encouragement, does it help you perform at a higher level?” 98 % of respondents said yes (p.4).
Sports fans understand the concept of encouragement. Fans generally believe that they can influence the outcome of a game. That’s why they yell and scream the way they do. The odds makers for NFL betting regularly give 3.5 points to the home team because of the impact of the homefield advantage. Much of the advantage is due to the home crowd cheering for their team.
The Bible speaks of encouragement. Proverbs 25:11 says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” There are no more fitting words than those of encouragement. Look for someone to applaud. Catch someone doing something well and reward them with a thoughtful word of appreciation. Encourage someone today.
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